How to deal with negative energy


Let’s face it – negative energy is easier to get then a positive energy. Whether it is news, comments on internet, annoying people at work or people from our families or relationships – there is always something. However, aside from the ‘regular’ negative energy that most of receive and project, there are times when negative energy is stronger than usual and is directed at us. Negative energy is not always intentional but it is always about how it makes us feel.

Below are some examples that you are experiencing negative energy:

  • You feel that every ‘event’ or ‘ask’ leaves you exhausted
  • You do not feel energy to respond to others
  • You do not feel energy to say No or to establish or protect your boundaries
  • You feel anger, including at random times outside of the ‘event’ – for example, when trying to fall asleep or making yourself breakfast
  • Your thoughts keep coming back to the event
  • You doubt yourself and your decisions
  • You do not feel motivated to do things that make you happy
  • You feel tired and exhausted, both emotionally and physically
  • You feel helpless
  • You keep having shortness of breath, headaches or any ‘new’ symptoms. In my case, when I am stressed I either get skin rashes and/or my eyesight gets significantly worse. You may even get sick for a short period of time, for example, with a cold. In other words, your body is going through stress.

Here is how to tell that others are actually being emotional vampires and direct negative energy at you, and/or trying to take energy from you:

  • They ask for your help in the way that is demanding – the expectation is there and they do not leave a choice for you
  • They are not considering your feelings or circumstances
  • They do not ask how you feel or where you are mentally before introducing you to THEIR problem
  • They are picking fights with you
  • Their ask for help revolves around their needs
  • They are focusing on themselves and do not allow you to put your needs first – and they are not taking it well when you do
  • They are complaining for the sake of complaining
  • They use you as ’emotional garbage bin’ – in conversation they throw all the bad things that are happening with them at you
  • They are not asking about your life
  • They are not compassionate about what you are going through
  • Once they share their problems and feel better, they want to finish the conversation regardless how YOU feel, leaving you emotionally depleted or stressed
  • They do not try to have a relationship with you and only show up in your life when you can help/benefit them

I have recently experienced a lot of negative energy from others. I already had some negative energy from within as I was going through miscarriage. It was also very busy at work to the point that I could not get a single sick or vacation day while experiencing this. Then my co-worker was intentionally picking a fight with me, some members of my family gave me judgemental lectures instead of any kind of mental support and then several members of my family demanded my help without asking how I feel or if I am even in position to help. I was and I am still going through personal problems of my own (which they knew about) that impacts my health and I was not in a place to help anyone if I can’t even help myself. So piece after piece, I am pulling myself out of darkness and cleaning my energy.

Here are some examples of cleaning my energy that I have tried and that have helped me:

  1. Removing and/or avoiding people that give me negative energy. If possible, reduce or stop any contact with them. If they make you feel bad and they do not support you when you are going through something, it is time to show them the door! If this is not done – all other steps combined would not help you feel better. My rule is if they do not appreciate you and are not adding good to your life, they are only taking things from you – why would you need to surround yourself with people like this? They are literally blocking the light from your life.
  2. Try doing things that mentally distract you. Finding engaging book (or a few) has helped me to have other things to think about. This does not work well with TV shows because they are shorter than books unless all you do is watching TV shows.
  3. Do some kind of a physical exercise. It can be walking, biking, running, press exercises – whatever helps you produce endorphins and feel a little bit better
  4. Finding a person you can talk to (e.g., a friend, a partner) and sharing your thoughts and pains. Getting their emotional support really helps.
  5. Change of scenery – try going to a different place for a weekend or at least a day. You need to change your routine. Even walking instead of taking a streetcar will give you some positive emotions
  6. Perform a Salt ritual – take few cups of salt and dissolve them in a small amount of water, for example in a basin or a bath. Or you can throw some salt on the floor of your shower or bath, and add some water. Then you need to step on the salt, walk on it while thinking how all the bad energy and situations are leaving your life. Then you need to wash the salt away and thank it.
  7. Apply visualization – imagine your problems or people that bother you as small as ants. Now imagine how you are sweeping the floor and all those small negative things are getting swept away. Keep sweeping until you feel better.
  8. Think about what you want. Find things that inspire you – watch a movie about the person you admire, learn more about the life of people you like (and get some positive energy, for example all those ‘self-care’ and ‘beauty secrets’ videos from celebrities make me feel better because I see people that like themselves looking after themselves).
  9. Play music that reflects your mood. You may want to listen to some active or sad music first but gradually switch it to something more positive. What I like about latin music is that most of it is very very positive. Here are my favourite examples that will lift your mood up:
    1. Example 1 – because Jennifer Lopez is awesome!
    2. Example 2 – because it is very positive
    3. Example 3 – perfect song for the summer!
    4. Example 4 – you cannot be feeling down when there is so much energy coming from performers!
    5. Example 5 – so much energy from this event. Also I consider this to be the only good thing from 2020
    6. Example 6 – this is redone music from a beautiful 1960s black singer. Her voice projects energy!
  10. Surround yourself with things that make you feel supported. I have a pile of paper books, lavender candle and a notebook on my night stand.
  11. Reconnect with nature – spend more time outside, taking the time to enjoy flowers, trees, birds singing
  12. Connect with pets. I have 3 cats and 2 dogs and spending time with them always makes me feel better. If you do not have a pet, visit someone who does 🙂
  13. Clean up areas that hold negative energy. I have noticed that every time my life is hectic my place reflects it – not just with dust and piles of clothes but also a lot of objects get accumulated in one place (especially kitchen) to the point that I treat a corner with piles of things as something that does not exist, therefore my home becomes smaller to me and my energy is also reduced. Also, every time I pass by a pile, even if I do not have energy to clean it I do feel my energy gets impacted as now I have another thing to be frustrated about. There is an old saying that clear glass helps with clarity of thoughts. Your surroundings should inspire you and not bring you down!
  14. Use aromatherapy and crystals – for example, Saje has a whole set of essential oils (I own most of them!). Here are some crystals that I wear regularly:
    1. Aquamarine – Aquamarine is a favorite of fortune, blessing the stone with an aura charged with luck. Aquamarine is also known to provide a brave and fearless energy that bolsters one’s confidence in the face of adversity. As a water stone, aquamarine has healing properties, and aids in defence against both physical and spiritual ailments, anxiety, and restlessness. 
    2. Blue aventurine – Blue Aventurine is charged with calming, tranquil energies that ease an anxious or upset mind and reduce long-term stress. Blue Aventurine is also a bearer of clarifying properties that aid in introspection and meditation and the pursuit of enlightenment.
    3. Howlite Howlite bestows a calming, uplifting energy which helps dissipate feelings of stress and anxiety while also providing clarity and awareness of the things that matter most. As such, with its tranquil and understanding aura, howlite aids against insomnia and mental overactivity and self-destructive behaviour. 
    4. Turquoise – Turquoise is a truly ancient stone, and its powerful energetic and spiritual characteristics have led to its use in art and jewelry spanning the corners of the globe throughout all periods of human history. Turquoise’s typical azure shade lends it the appearance of pristine waters or the heavens above, and the stone is powered with healing properties and protection against ill intentions of all kinds. Turquoise is available in many other colors than its iconic light blue, but all are charged with the same energetic and spiritual characteristics.
    5. Black obsedian – Having come directly from a volcano, black obsidian contains the elements of earth, water, and fire. This combination means that it also carries immense power. This stone is very good for cutting ties and ridding yourself of negative connections. If you’re struggling to leave a toxic work environment or a relationship that is no longer serving you, you can seek help from black obsidian stone with its healing properties.

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