October is a month of mental health at my workplace and it got me thinking about being intentional with my mental health.

I want to start the series of reflection on what I did or the choices I have made that helped me align with my mental health goals or my personal values as a way to remind myself about its importance. My to-do list includes a lot of things when it comes to areas of life I want to improve but I cannot remember having a category on mental health or prioritizing those activities until I achieve the point of high stress levels.

What does mental health mean to me? It is about my wellbeing, my mental wellness, about making choices that reflect my priorities and values. It is also about doing things or not doing things that reflect my overall state of emotional health. For example, if I feel that I am overwhelmed or confused or just very busy, I am going to limit my social interactions including online or be very selective about the people I talk to. It may result in me not responding to messages for several days, sometimes weeks but adding an ongoing conversation when I am already stretched thin may not be helpful to me at that moment. However, if I was an extrovert, that could be more important to me than other activities.

So what have I done or not done this fall for my mental health?

• Signed up for mental health workshops at work, such as reducing burnout, healthy diet and dealing with stress
• Chose to have lunch later (if running out of time) but never skipping lunches – I am one of those people whose empty stomach will make me angry and mean, but most importantly, exhausted
• Cleaned up areas of the house where a mess was really bothering me. But also thinking if a bigger solution is required. For example, we had baby clothing all over the living room until one day when we realized we just needed an extra storage solution. We got a cabinet and now everything is organized and yet out of sight. However, I also chose not to waste the weekend on cleaning so we can take advantage of the fresh crispy air outside while it is still warm
• Walking outside or reading during my lunch break (instead of catching up on emails or work)
• Taking pictures when I feel I want to capture the moment, especially with my daughter. I went from taking pictures that I believe make me look cute or my life appealing (Instagram’s fault) to not taking pictures for months (I was pregnant and tired and just not feeling it) to only taking pictures of my daughter during her first year.
• Prioritizing the time for myself – it is extremely challenging with a toddler and a full time job, but taking a long bath once a week and monthly massages are a must for me
• Finding the time to write is detrimental to how I measure success for myself. Even though it is not my job to write and at work I am writing treasury board submissions, finding the time to work on my personal writing projects just energizes me within
• Remembering to slow down and breathe. Doing nothing feels luxurious since I try to be efficient 95 percent of the time
• Let the mess be! If you live with a man, you will know – if they are on a break, they are on a break. They will walk right past the mess and maybe don’t even notice it. This one I am trying to improve on – if I enter the kitchen to make tea, I do not also load up the dishwasher, if I am going to take a bath, I do not sort and fold laundry on the way. Okay I do these things but then once my break starts that’s it – I get fully committed. But this way I can also enjoy my break (cannot physically enjoy myself if I am staring at a mess)
• Wearing the kind of clothes that aligns with my mood. I used to dress up in a very corporate restrictive way, kind of how flight attendants dress. Okay, I do have a corporate job but I realized everyone around me is wearing jeans while I only wear black pants or black long skirt, heels, jacket and black or black shirt. In my twenties my closet was actually a rainbow and now it is black, beige, grey and dark blue. This month I started to dress a little bit more casual and a little bit more fun. I actually realized that when I am dressed in a very corporate way I actually do not feel or do small talk, in addition to not looking approachable. When I dress a bit more fun I am 150 percent more outgoing.
• Saying “there is only one of me” to myself, my husband, daughter and my manager. All are important – I used to have impossibly high standards for myself about how I should look, how my family should look, how my house should look, the quality of work I should produce while living this productive efficient life where I do yoga, write books, have some weird diet that takes an extra hour to prepare every meal and restrictive in every possible way, and all before 8am. But since having a baby and returning to work, enough is enough! I no longer have energy for perfection and frankly I no longer even care for it. I try to be productive but in a healthy limited way. I am no longer going to push myself to do all those crazy things I see on Ticktock aka “realistic morning routine” where a woman has 4 vitamins, exercises, meditates, does her makeup AND her hair, journals and prepares breakfast and then wakes up her toddler twins. Please give me a break! If my toddler senses ANY movement, she wakes up and cries until I let her follow me around. And then she opens every drawer and cabinet on her way while falling. No meditation in the world worth it! I try to find time to myself but I put her needs first, and that’s what moms should do. I am done with public shaming of mothers that ‘only’ have to babysit their children. Anyone who judges should watch the children first, and then, if they survive they can maybe make recommendations. Maybe.
• Same goes for work – I am no longer going to do the job of three people and pull overtime just because I can do better work than others. This does not mean I should.
• Embracing seasonal things – from decorations (got string of lights and salt lamp and now my living room has ambience) to tea flavours (I really like cranberry pomegranate tea) to fall colours and everything in between. This helps to feel and enjoy the change of seasons and makes me excited for life, so that counts towards my mental health.
• What are some things you have done for your mental health recently? What is something you learned about yourself? Write in the comments below 👇